Is Your Social Media Strategy Wrecking Your... Bottom Line?

Ever find yourself brainstorming your next big campaign from the, uh, "throne room"? We all do it. But it turns out our dedication to doomscrolling while on the porcelain throne is having some seriously uncomfortable side effects.

A new study has some bad news for those of us who can't unplug. Researchers have discovered that regularly using your smartphone on the toilet is associated with a 46% greater risk of developing hemorrhoids.

It seems the very social media algorithms we use to hook customers are working a little too well. People get so absorbed in their feeds that they lose all track of time. One study showed that 37% of phone users spent over five minutes in the bathroom, compared to just 7% of their unplugged peers.

This prolonged "seat time" is the real culprit. The design of a toilet seat positions your body in a way that increases pressure on the veins in your lower rectum, which can lead to swelling, pain, and bleeding. Add to that the poor posture most of us adopt while hunched over our phones, and you've got a recipe for a bad ROI (Return on... well, you know).

A New Strategy for Your Bathroom Breaks​

Experts recommend that an ideal bathroom visit should last between three to five minutes, and no more than 10 minutes tops. So, how can you optimize your "exit strategy"?

• Leave the phone behind: The easiest solution is to make your bathroom time as boring as possible.
• Set a timer: If you absolutely must scroll, be mindful. One doctor suggests that if things aren't progressing after two TikTok videos, it's time to get up and try again later.
• Improve your posture: Sitting up straight is more favorable for a successful... launch.

Don't let your content consumption lead to a painful end-of-quarter report. Your real bottom line will thank you.

Source: https://edition.cnn.com/2025/09/03/health/toilet-time-hemorrhoid-risk-wellness

I don't tend to take mine with me. Never in there long enough for that. I got friends who use the toilet as an escape from family - again never had that problem.

Dopious said:

Researchers have discovered that regularly using your smartphone on the toilet is associated with a 46% greater risk of developing hemorrhoids.

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That just reads and feels like the old, put a mobile by your head and you got X% chance of getting brain, face or head cancer from back in the day scare mongering about mobile phones.

Well my husband go to bathroom with him mobile always and i says, give the phone some rest....

Your title is genius.

Cheating lol

payal23j said:

Well my husband go to bathroom with him mobile always and i says, give the phone some rest....

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Ohh.. Ok, I guess we can talk about hemorrhoids in Social Media nowadays too, hmm.

Ps. But really, who of the Mods were drunk yesterday? Hope you had a great time dude.

Dopious said:

Ohh.. Ok, I guess we can talk about hemorrhoids in Social Media nowadays too, hmm.

Ps. But really, who of the Mods were drunk yesterday? Hope you had a great time dude.

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Based on social media as a whole I think hemorrhoids are fine to be here

t2van said:

Based on social media as a whole I think hemorrhoids are fine to be here

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Ok, how to present my ASS on X then, don`t ever had the roids, but hey, mama told me to try everything atleast once, soo...

Dopious said:

Ok, how to present my ASS on X then, don`t ever had the roids, but hey, mama told me to try everything atleast once, soo...

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Start here and then let your imagination grow from there

t2van said:

Start here and then let your imagination grow from there

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Ohh, you wanna frame my upcoming roids, I bet it would look good on your new office wall besides your logo, thanks honey.

Dopious said:

Ohh, you wanna frame my upcoming roids, I bet it would look good on your new office wall besides your logo, thanks honey.

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Yeah there is that.

But you wanted to know how to fame your ass... it's one of them custom cut out cards so you use like this:



But now imagine you bent over your ass through the frame. Perfect.