Giving in need..

t2van · Monday at 5:04 AM

What's the best way to give to a family in need that doesn't want or won't accept help?

We tried to offer thing before but they see it as charity and rather save to get things.

I get that. And asking for help is tough.

Sons friend only has his mum and they going through rough patch. Feel like I should help but trying to come up with a way that doesn't seem embarrassing for them.

Or me being rude.

Maybe I'm just wrong to do something.

The boy had to sell his switch to go on school holiday trip next year.. Just seems sad to me.

Dopious · Monday at 5:06 AM

Let your son give the money to his friend?

t2van · Monday at 5:10 AM

Dopious said:
Let your son give the money to his friend?

Yeah thought about this.

His friend has a bit of a chip on his shoulder as he's aware of thought times him and his mom going through.

I did think about just gifting some food from work and then theo giving some gift like that for Xmas.

It's hard to do it without them feeling like charity case.

Guess that's the tricky bit all round. I don't want to rub it in their face either or cause problem with my son and his friend

Dopious · Monday at 5:18 AM

t2van said:
It's hard to do it without them feeling like charity case.

Or take your son to buy some winter clothes and make sure his friend is coming along, then buy his friend a nice winter jacket at the same time, clothes are the most expensive shit since I bet his friend also wants nice clothes but mom can`t keep up with the cost of him getting what other kids has, this is a huge deal for his friend even if he might not say so, all kids want what the other kids have. Be creative. Less money on clothes and stuff is more money for food.

t2van · Monday at 5:27 AM

Dopious said:
Or take your son to buy some winter clothes and make sure his friend is coming along, then buy his friend a nice winter jacket at the same time, clothes are the most expensive shit since I bet his friend also wants nice clothes but mom can`t keep up with the cost of him getting what other kids has, this is a huge deal for his friend even if he might not say so, all kids want what the other kids have. Be creative. Less money on clothes and stuff is more money for food.

Yeah might do this will try arange a boy day out and ill do something like that.

They also game all the time but his friend has limited things so I was going to gift a xbox subscription to his gamer ID... Figured he could enjoy shit like that as well maybe?

Dopious · Monday at 5:29 AM

t2van said:
They also game all the time but his friend has limited things so I was going to gift a xbox subscription to his gamer ID... Figured he could enjoy shit like that as well maybe?

Yes, happy boy = Happy mom, goes a long way.

roydan · Monday at 5:38 AM

The best way I know is to just offer the boy a job for a couple hours here and there, it goes along way and even if they get the feeling that it's charity, they can "pretend" that it isn't.

I did it a couple of times. It always works and really everybody win at the end.

t2van · Monday at 5:42 AM

roydan said:
The best way I know is to just offer the boy a job for a couple hours here and there, it goes along way and even if they get the feeling that it's charity, they can "pretend" that it isn't.

I did it a couple of times. It always works and really everybody win at the end.

Hes 10

So think I got some kind of slave labour thing.

I might do what @Dopious says. I think if I take them on quads on some shit tracks we have, which are essentially mud pits, he can get muddy and that and I'll get an excuse to buy some clothing and that so he can go back home "clean" its a sneaky win win without it being charity i think

Rem · 2025-10-28T10:52:14-0700

t2van said:
What's the best way to give to a family in need that doesn't want or won't accept help?

We tried to offer thing before but they see it as charity and rather save to get things.

I get that. And asking for help is tough.

Sons friend only has his mum and they going through rough patch. Feel like I should help but trying to come up with a way that doesn't seem embarrassing for them.

Or me being rude.

Maybe I'm just wrong to do something.

Just keep your hand extended incase they ever change their mind.
if its hospital related, pay their bills anonymously

t2van said:
The boy had to sell his switch to go on school holiday trip next year.. Just seems sad to me.

buy him another switch
speak to the school board, do donations, thru the school, specify who the donation u want it to go to (for the school)
let them deal with the arrangements
honestly, money solves all problems, most people are just too fucking stupid to see it

payal23j · 2025-10-28T11:00:05-0700

@t2van wow, great thought dear. Do one thing, his mom is working somewhere if she than give some funds to boss and tell them she dis good work so they are paying higher amount rather than other days, either call her mom to tutoring you child so in this way you pay extra which helps his family. So many people have their self respect which not allowed to take any help from anyone.
Either give money or help in your way while saying think it's a loan for you, when you'll earn than pay me back.. no.issues.. so you can help them easily and its sort out other things too

Rem · 2025-10-28T11:11:37-0700

grab their phone number
use payid/Zelle type thingo
wire them some funds
although dont think thats anonymous

if u pick up ur child from school and not public transport, offer them rides home
every bit of savings is something from them
invite them over to dinner, every now and then, or if she working late shifts, let ur son friend stay over urs
surely would lower the burden or ease thinking of her kid home alone/unsafe stray thoughts.

or just slap some sense into them
pride only gonna hurt her
but her son gona suffer for no reason

payal23j · 2025-10-28T11:22:15-0700

Just a long breath and think what you do in there way, as they not feel guilty or you doing some charity or anything get hurts as you are helping them because of there financial problems because that's there problems not yours.
So think twice and do the best as @Rem said.. offer school ride or other things which helps them and they don't feel like burden or something else.

ggmopa · 2025-10-29T03:51:35-0700

Nah,I would tell them the offer is there in case they need it and change their minds but otherwise I wouldn't bother pursuing them about it unless it is literally an apparent life or death scenario - illness and os on.

Don't mean to go agains the grain but assuming they are in the UK like you, government support is there as a lifeline to meet absolutely essential needs - housing, child support and so on. Last thing i'd do is encourage them to fund a lifestyle they can't afford and sustain in the long run. Throwing money in this case, especially for luxuries would be disruptive to their household balance.

If the kid is switched on and has his head screwed on right he'll probably learn a lot more about life here and the world around him than kids living a completely sheltered life growing up and adjust accoridngly.

Reanimated · 2025-10-29T03:54:35-0700

Listen,

If you’re going to get nude then make sure you walk into the house dressed as Santa Claus. That way the sack on your back with goods you want to give isn’t noticed when you drop the sack between your legs.

All the sudden you get cold and your wiener shrinks so you got to put on your clothes and split because you’re embarrassed.

Or something like that.

Just drop the sack of goods and you’re good.

Fist BUMP HUMP

Giving in need..

t2van

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Dopious

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t2van

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Dopious

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t2van

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roydan

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t2van

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Rem

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