The dark side of marketing, copywriting, and general shenanigans.
Make yourself look like a millionaire when you're actually nobody like RiskyStuff.
Put on your tiny fake mustache, because we are about to look at 10 shady "black hat" tricks people use to stretch, bend, and absolutely pulverize the truth to make things look way more impressive than they actually are.
Here is the ultimate guide to the dark arts of exaggeration:
The "Peak-Hour" Extrapolation Taking your absolute best five minutes of traffic or sales from three years ago, multiplying it by 12, multiplying that by 24, and claiming it as your "average daily run-rate."
Example: "We handle millions of requests!" (Yes, once, during a freak bot attack on Tuesday).
The "Cumulatively Infinite" Stat
Never resetting the counter. Instead of showing monthly active users, you show "total accounts ever created since 2012"—including spam bots, duplicates, and people who forgot their passwords eight years ago.
The "Weirdly Specific" Percent Increase
Using massive percentage growth to mask tiny, embarrassing numbers.
Example: "Our sales skyrocketed by 400% this week!" (You sold 4 items instead of your usual 1).
The Phantom "Global" Presence
Having one guy in a coffee shop in London and another renting a desk in Tokyo, and immediately claiming you have "multinational corporate headquarters spanning Europe and Asia."
The "Up To" Loophole of Doom
Putting "Up to" or "As low as" in microscopic, light-gray font next to a massive, flashy number.
Example: SAVE 90%! (up to $2, on select items, if you buy 50).
The Faux-Authority Badge
Slapping "As seen on NBC, CBS, and CNN" on your site just because you paid $50 to a wire service to distribute a press release that got auto-published on local sub-domains that nobody ever visits.
The "Vanity Metric" Pivot
When the actual goal (like revenue or clicks) is terrible, you focus on a meaningless metric that looks huge.
Example: "Our brand-new video reached over 1,000,000 impressions!" (People scrolled past it in 0.2 seconds on Twitter).
The "Including Partners" Inflation
Claiming the achievements of other companies you barely interact with.
Example: "Our technology is trusted by Google and Apple!" (You use Google Drive and one of your employees uses an iPhone).
The "No-Context" Graph
Zooming in so closely on a chart's Y-axis that a microscopic 0.1% increase looks like a near-vertical rocket ship blasting off into the stratosphere.
The "Urgency Engine" Faking
Using fake countdown timers that just reset when they hit zero, or coded pop-ups that say "Brenda from Ohio just bought this!" when Brenda is actually a line of JavaScript written by a guy named Vlad.
Make yourself look like a millionaire when you're actually nobody like RiskyStuff.
Put on your tiny fake mustache, because we are about to look at 10 shady "black hat" tricks people use to stretch, bend, and absolutely pulverize the truth to make things look way more impressive than they actually are.
Here is the ultimate guide to the dark arts of exaggeration:
The "Peak-Hour" Extrapolation Taking your absolute best five minutes of traffic or sales from three years ago, multiplying it by 12, multiplying that by 24, and claiming it as your "average daily run-rate."
Example: "We handle millions of requests!" (Yes, once, during a freak bot attack on Tuesday).
The "Cumulatively Infinite" Stat
Never resetting the counter. Instead of showing monthly active users, you show "total accounts ever created since 2012"—including spam bots, duplicates, and people who forgot their passwords eight years ago.
The "Weirdly Specific" Percent Increase
Using massive percentage growth to mask tiny, embarrassing numbers.
Example: "Our sales skyrocketed by 400% this week!" (You sold 4 items instead of your usual 1).
The Phantom "Global" Presence
Having one guy in a coffee shop in London and another renting a desk in Tokyo, and immediately claiming you have "multinational corporate headquarters spanning Europe and Asia."
The "Up To" Loophole of Doom
Putting "Up to" or "As low as" in microscopic, light-gray font next to a massive, flashy number.
Example: SAVE 90%! (up to $2, on select items, if you buy 50).
The Faux-Authority Badge
Slapping "As seen on NBC, CBS, and CNN" on your site just because you paid $50 to a wire service to distribute a press release that got auto-published on local sub-domains that nobody ever visits.
The "Vanity Metric" Pivot
When the actual goal (like revenue or clicks) is terrible, you focus on a meaningless metric that looks huge.
Example: "Our brand-new video reached over 1,000,000 impressions!" (People scrolled past it in 0.2 seconds on Twitter).
The "Including Partners" Inflation
Claiming the achievements of other companies you barely interact with.
Example: "Our technology is trusted by Google and Apple!" (You use Google Drive and one of your employees uses an iPhone).
The "No-Context" Graph
Zooming in so closely on a chart's Y-axis that a microscopic 0.1% increase looks like a near-vertical rocket ship blasting off into the stratosphere.
The "Urgency Engine" Faking
Using fake countdown timers that just reset when they hit zero, or coded pop-ups that say "Brenda from Ohio just bought this!" when Brenda is actually a line of JavaScript written by a guy named Vlad.
