I go to martials arts classes and there's a lad who also attends about as regularly as I do and I pair up with him often in certain classes and we go to get a bite to eat sometimes after class. He is 24 and is always constantly crying about being a virgin. I never kissed a girl. I can never get any tinder swipes and so on. Thing is, this guy is pretty talented - he is going to be studying for a phd, is fluent in three different languages and is an avid public speaker as part of an extracurricular activity or part time work or something, and sometimes speaks in front of hundreds of people. And he is a pretty good martial artist too. And I just always think to myself, dude you're so talented. But he cannot seem to see it just because he appears to put so much worth in to trying to score. That seems so messed up lol. Half those chicks on tinder probably couldn't even do one of those things.
And don't get me wrong - this isn't one-sides. I've heard of lot's of women that go through the same lonely hearts ordeal and I could possibly say the same thing in their defense too if it was a similar situation.
I feel the whole things can be pretty overrated (especially if you're chasing an objectification , rather than appreciating personality).
But, that being said, this is coming from someone with a terrible ex. She was pretty messed up. I wanted to break up with her. But each time I did she would start balling her eyes out. And I don't mean likefake crocodile tears. I mean you could see it's really got to her. So I kind of caved in. This happened twice. I was only 17-18. But I did always try to out off seeing her, whilst still staying faithful since I technically was commited. Luckily for me, it turned out she was involved with like three ither guys. A girl that was kind of a mutual aquaintence told me. I mean she was a marauder I found out she really messed one of these guys up. She had all kinds of issues. Some kind of weird seperation anxiety seemed like it could be one. That might not be so bad if there is a deep attachment. But but if that attachment is treating guys like opening a cupboard and choosing who will be your lucky hat for the day. It gets a bit worse than that, but I think i'd rather not get in to it.
But yeah, coming back to my friend, it's astounding. I feel he must see some flaws in himself that he feels he must be tryig to compensate for. Either that or he's caught up in some idea of what is considered 'normal' to the world, rather than focus on trying to be his natural and best self better. Either way, I learned if's always better not to rely too much on the approval and appeasement of others when you invest your sense of self-worth in to it. You can respect, like and even love someone without needing to do this. The latter is about giving and the former is about taking, or at least attenpting to receive in this case.
Does anyone else relate to this in any way?
And don't get me wrong - this isn't one-sides. I've heard of lot's of women that go through the same lonely hearts ordeal and I could possibly say the same thing in their defense too if it was a similar situation.
I feel the whole things can be pretty overrated (especially if you're chasing an objectification , rather than appreciating personality).
But, that being said, this is coming from someone with a terrible ex. She was pretty messed up. I wanted to break up with her. But each time I did she would start balling her eyes out. And I don't mean likefake crocodile tears. I mean you could see it's really got to her. So I kind of caved in. This happened twice. I was only 17-18. But I did always try to out off seeing her, whilst still staying faithful since I technically was commited. Luckily for me, it turned out she was involved with like three ither guys. A girl that was kind of a mutual aquaintence told me. I mean she was a marauder I found out she really messed one of these guys up. She had all kinds of issues. Some kind of weird seperation anxiety seemed like it could be one. That might not be so bad if there is a deep attachment. But but if that attachment is treating guys like opening a cupboard and choosing who will be your lucky hat for the day. It gets a bit worse than that, but I think i'd rather not get in to it.
But yeah, coming back to my friend, it's astounding. I feel he must see some flaws in himself that he feels he must be tryig to compensate for. Either that or he's caught up in some idea of what is considered 'normal' to the world, rather than focus on trying to be his natural and best self better. Either way, I learned if's always better not to rely too much on the approval and appeasement of others when you invest your sense of self-worth in to it. You can respect, like and even love someone without needing to do this. The latter is about giving and the former is about taking, or at least attenpting to receive in this case.
Does anyone else relate to this in any way?
Last edited: